


Boys Will Be Boys

by traitorminion



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Drabble Collection, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Multipairing, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traitorminion/pseuds/traitorminion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over and over again. — Multipairing drabble dump</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Boys Will Be Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Coherency? What is coherency?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's in love with me." — KagamiKuroko

It started on a crisp afternoon at the end of November.

Tired and slightly dull, the pre-winter sun hung low above the roof of Seirin High School. Most of the school grounds were already deserted at this hour; very few groups and clubs had stayed behind. Among them was the basketball team, huddled together in the small locker room beside the gym, and got ready for practice. The room buzzed with the hushed hum of rustling fabric and idle chatter as the boys changed.

No one was especially surprised when Koganei suddenly spoke up, "Kagami, I heard one of the freshmen confessed to you earlier."

Kagami stopped midway during the act of pulling his shirt over his head and, to his horror, realized that almost everyone in the room was looking at him with varying degrees of curiosity and envy.

"So?" He said in what he hoped was a gruff and generally menacing fashion. Fortunately, he always kind of sounded like that.

"So you have a girlfriend now, huh?" Koganei leered, and his eyes flashed. "Is she cute?"

Whoever had not been interested in the conversation before certainly was now.

Kagami tried his best to keep his expression stony and failed miserably. "I'm not dating her," he said to the wall of jealous and expectant teenage boys in front of him and wondered if throwing one of the benches at them would be enough to shut them up.

"She can't have been that ugly," Tsuchida chimed in.

"Maybe he likes someone else," Kyoshi supplied earnestly.

"He's in love with me," it came from behind Kagami.

The entire room went silent.

Quietly fighting a heart attack, Kagami turned around to see Kuroko sitting in the shade, stroking the underside of Number Two's chin. The dog mewled contentedly.

"What," he croaked and paused to gulp. "What did you say?"

Kuroko stared at him, face as blank as ever. "I said, 'He's in love with me.' Obviously I was referring to you," he added as though it needed any more clarification.

"You're joking, right?" Kagami asked hopefully.

Kuroko's brows furrowed. "Why would I be joking?"

However, before anyone could explain to him why it was a perfectly common and logical reaction to assume that he was, in fact, just joking, the door burst open. It was Riko. Her hair and uniform were singed, and her left knee was nursing a rather nasty-looking bruise.

"Someone blew up one of the home ec rooms," she said to no one in particular.

Hyuga snorted. "You mean, _you_ blew up—"

"SHUT UP", she snapped at him, flushing furiously. "NONE OF YOU WILL GO HOME UNTIL YOU CLEANED IT. UNDERSTOOD?"

"Your skirt is on fire," Koganei helpfully pointed out.

"UNDERSTOOD?" she roared, stomping outside toward the gym where she stored some clothes for emergencies.

Kagami used the opportunity and made a beeline for the exit.


	2. Oh No!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko is a cunning strategist. Kagami learns this the hard way. — KagamiKuroko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to make this my drabble dump for the series. Updates will be infrequent at best and sporadic at worst, depending on my muse. Drop me a review and tell me what you think!

"You know, you'd make quite the housewife," Kuroko said over Kagami's shoulder (standing on his toes) as he watched him fry some pork for dinner.

Kagami shrieked in a totally manly fashion, flailed and nearly got boiling oil and meat all over them both in the process. "What the hell," he barked and tried to shove Kuroko out of his personal space but to no avail. "Look at what you almost made me do!"

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all. "Maybe I could find a way make it up to you somehow?" he asked as one might ask about the weather, casually slipping a hand under the hem of Kagami's shirt.

Kagami flinched and made a sound he didn't think he wanted to decode. Panting, he let go of the pan and whipped around. Kuroko stared up at him with his default pokerface, but Kagami swore there was a glint in his eyes, and it was _evil_.

"What," he said, voice pressed. "What do you think you're doing?"

Kuroko's face broke into a sly smirk. Kagami reflected that he should probably be freaking out by now and found himself helplessly turned on instead. God, it was so unfair.

"Why don't you come and see for yourself," Kuroko all but whispered, fingers ghosting down Kagami's belly in invitation, before he slowly left the kitchen.

It took Kagami about three seconds to switch off the stove and follow him into the bedroom.


	3. The Calculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ache in his left leg was killing him. — TakaoMidorima

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some MidoTaka because why the fuck not.

The ache in his left leg was killing him. 

It reminded him of a rubber band being pulled and pulled and pulled yet never ripping and had been building up over the first half of the day. Afternoon was approaching, and instead of enjoying his weekly Sunday post-lunch coma it was all Takao could do not to just cut the damn thing off.

Naturally, his automatic response to this was to call Midorima in order to complain to him about it.

"Shin-chan," he whined by way of greeting. "I am suffering from an acute case of growing pain."

There was a moment of silence in which Midorima hopelessly contemplated the statistic likelihood of escaping the conversation. It was almost a miracle he didn't try anyway.

"Are you even growing anymore," he deadpanned, more out of habit than anything else. Takao liked to think so, in any case.

"Of course I am," he shot back sulkily. "Not everyone can finish their growth spurt during middle school."

"Actually, I haven't," Midorima said.

"You're lying," Takao accused.

"I told you about it last month when we had our measurements taken for the tournament," Midorima said, and Takao could practically hear him roll his eyes at him because they both knew that he hadn't forgotten, he was just making good use of his God-Given Right of Bitching, which should have been perfectly acceptable, given his current physical state. Besides, it wasn't like Midorima was being exactly helpful, if he knew what that meant at all.

"There is no justice left in this world," he wailed, sniffling for extra dramatic effect.

"See you at practice tomorrow, Takao," Midorima said, sounding like he seemed to agree, and then the line was dead.

Takao put down the phone, stretched and grinned.

The pain in his leg was gone.


	4. A Quick Guide to Domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couch has its own gravitational field, Takao is Takao, and Midorima reconsiders his life choices. — TakaoMidorima

"Takao, quit staring at me and fetch me that folder over there, will you?"

Takao looked at Midorima, at the folder in the shelf to his right and then back to Midorima. "I would, but the couch is drawing me in. You see, it has its own gravitational field."

Midorima scowled at him. "Takao," he said slowly as if he were talking to a small child—his default behavior when he thought Takao was being especially stupid. "That's my couch, and therefore my gravitational field, not yours."

For a second, Takao was almost shocked Midorima was actually humoring him. He smiled. "Doesn't matter. I'm compatible for various gravitational fields, including not just sofas but also beds, chairs and KitKat bars."

Midorima made a face. "That sounds unnecessarily exhausting and complicated."

"Fits both of our personalities, doesn't it?" Takao grinned, propping his feet against the coffee table.

Midorima's left eye twitched. "Stop that," he hissed, got up from his desk and towered over Takao, who just kept on grinning of course and simultaneously managed to look disturbingly innocent. All tension suddenly gone, Midorima heaved a sigh. "I forget, why do I put up with you again?"

Takao chuckled, sat up and kissed him gently.

"I really have no idea."


	5. Stupid Teenagers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami fails at life. It's totally Kuroko's fault. — KagamiKuroko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KagaKuro again because who am I kidding, we all know where my bias lies.
> 
> Also, this is less of a drabble and more of a full-fledged fic, sorry!

Kagami has a problem. He needs friends.

Like,  _friends_  friends.

It's not like he's alone or anything, obviously. He's got the team and his classmates, and he's sort of got Himuro too even though it still hurts just thinking about him, but he doesn't want to contemplate that right now.

So yeah, friends. People he can trust enough to tell them he kind of maybe likes his best friend and who are possibly able to show him a way to revert the process. The thing is, he doesn't have that sort of social contact, except for Kuroko perhaps, which: hello, core of the entire dilemma.

"That still doesn't explain why you chose to ask us for advice," Aomine says and jabs at the plate of fries in front of him without much enthusiasm, looing like he'd rather stab himself with his fork than continue the conversation.

Kagami is not sorry.

" _Dai-chan_ ," Momoi says and manages to sound both scolding and sickeningly sweet at the same time. Aomine rolls his eyes, almost pouting, which Kagami didn't even know was a  _thing_.

"It's okay, I understand," she says to Kagami and smiles sympathetically. "It happens to everyone sooner or later, it was just a matter of time. I mean, he's just too cute for his own good."

"I—," Kagami starts and promptly shuts his mouth because he doesn't know what that even  _means_. Sure, Kuroko is—well, he's  _something_ , and that alone is enough to make him freak out for days.

"So how do I stop it?" he asks instead.

Momoi stares blankly at him for a few seconds before breaking into a fit of hysterical giggles. Aomine scowls at his plate as though it's all he can do not to smack both of them with it.

Kagami can relate.

* * *

Okay, so friends are stupid. Kagami doesn't need friends. He can totally solve this on his own.

With reawakened vigor he opens the door of the basketball team's locker room, where Kuroko is currently petting Number Two, dressed in unnervingly flimsy boxers.

Yup. He can totally do this.

* * *

Kagami has a plan. And it's a pretty good one, too. In fact, it's so cunningly brilliant he's beginning to think that he might be a genius:

He's going to ignore the problem until it goes away.

Basking in his own splendor, he attacks his lunch, an XXL-sandwich, and nearly chokes on it when he sees Kuroko sitting opposite him. You'd think after about a year of knowing each other he'd get used to his tendency to suddenly appear out of nowhere at random intervals, but actually the contrary is the case—it gets worse.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I cannot help but notice that you have been avoiding me lately, and I do not understand why," Kuroko opens, annoyingly outspoken as per usual.

Kagami would be pissed if he didn't find it so ridiculously endearing.

_God, this is his life._

"I'm not avoiding you," he says. He's never been good at lying, but he gives it a shot anyway.

Kuroko sighs. "You really are an idiot," he says and stands up. "Enjoy your lunch."

* * *

Practice is a disaster that day.

It takes Riko approximately ten seconds to figure out something is wrong and corner him. She's unexpectedly menacing for someone who is roughly three heads smaller than him.

"What the hell is going on?" she demands, hands on her hips.

Kagami doesn't even try to dodge the question—he may be secretly a genius, but Riko is a strategic mastermind.

"I think Kuroko and I had a fight," he says.

"You  _think_?"

"Yeah," he says, scratching the back of his neck. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what's going on anymore. He thinks I'm avoiding him or something."

"Are you?"

Kagami bites his lip. "Maybe?"

"Oh my god." Riko groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Well, whatever it is that's causing you to play like a  _grade-schooler_ , get it sorted out or I will sort  _you_  out of the team."

She leaves before he can even so much as think of something appropriate to answer.

"What's with everybody suddenly making dramatic exits all the time?"

* * *

Kagami figures it's time to switch tactics.

When he spots Kuroko in the food court the next day (which he is pretty proud of), he sits down next to him, carrying his usual pile of burgers and a vanilla milkshake.

"Here," he says and pushes the milshake across the table. "Sorry for being kind of a dick the past few days."

Kuroko says nothing but takes a sip from the shake, which is a start, Kagami supposes.

"It's just—I'm pretty confused at the moment, and you probably know that I'm not really good at dealing with stuff like—like  _feelings_." He stops himself at that before he gets caught up in some sort of verbal landslide and, if possible, makes the situation even more awkward.

"Yes, I know," Kuroko says eventually, shifting in the red leather seat to look directly at Kagami, which is exactly as uncomfortably straightforward as it sounds. Kagami realizes then how little space is left between them and how big Kuroko's eyes look from up close and, frankly, he just wants to get the hell out of there.

"You're in love with me, aren't you?" It's immeasurably unfair how calm he sounds.

"What," Kagami squeaks.

"You heard me."

Kagami's mind is reeling with the effort to grasp the concept of what is happening. "But—but if you knew, then why didn't you  _say_  anything?"

"I wanted to see if you had the courage to do something about it."

"You're kidding, right?" He's unsure whether to bang his head against the table or rip his hair out. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through the last month? I have  _literally_  wrecked my brain over this—give me back the milkshake!"

Kuroko smirks at him and Kagami suddenly has A Very Bad Feeling about this.

"I can give you something even better," Kuroko says, leans forward and kisses him.

On the mouth.

In the most public place he knows.

Kagami wants to shove him away and tell him how incredibly inappropriate this is, but Kuroko's lips are soft and nice and so, so warm against his own.

Oh, well.


	6. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is a school and—and not a brothel." — KiseKasamatsu

It began in Kise's second Spring at Kaijou.

The team was preparing for a match against some seeded school from two prefectures over when his fan club started showing up for practice. Unsurprisingly, it was Kasamatsu who was most bothered by this.

"Make them leave," he hissed as the girls kept on shouting for Kise to sign their uniforms. "This is a school and—and not a _brothel_."

"Wow, senpai." Kise cocked his head. "I never thought you would know about stuff like that. _So grown-up_!"

The veins on Kasamatsu's forehead were dangerously close to popping. "I'm serious, fuckhead," he snarled, startling some of the freshmen. "Get them out of here, or I swear to god I _will_ kick you out."

At that Kise nearly faltered. Nearly. "Aw, senpai," he cooed. "There's no need for you to be jealous."

"What, of you?" Kasamatsu scoffed. "Not in a million years, baby face."

And then Kise did something terribly, terribly stupid: he said the truth.

"I didn't mean, 'jealous of _me_.'"

Kasamatsu stared at him in an interesting mix of mild surprise, distinct horror and something else neither of them was brave enough to name. After a minute he whacked Kise over the head and promptly stormed off to give the mob of fans his usual speech about improper behavior on school grounds.

Stunned, Kise looked after him and wondered if they'd almost had a moment there.


	7. From Me to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found your footprints in a cloud of sand. — KagamiKuroko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to, listen to Galileo Galilei's "Boku kara kimi e" while reading. I was listening to it non-stop when I wrote this, it's an amazing song.

Kagami doesn't remember the first time he met Kuroko, mostly because Kuroko's misdirection makes him unsure of when that was, exactly. Maybe they met during the entrance ceremony, or maybe in the crowd streaming through the school afterwards, or maybe it was much later, on their first day of club activity.

He doesn't think it really matters, anyway. What would it change to know how they met? They're here now, and they're friends, and that's more than he would have expected of someone called "black child."

* * *

Contrary to the opinion of his classmates, Kagami does actually take great consideration of his surroundings. He isn't oblivious or ignorant, as some of his peers seem to think. That's what startles him so much about Kuroko and his disposition. Kagami isn't used to not noticing things.

* * *

Seeing Kuroko is a privilege, and Kagami treats the experience as such. He drinks in the sight every time, thirstily, compulsively. Soon he has completely mapped out the shape of Kuroko's body, and he thinks he could spot it from a mile away. Still, he keeps missing him, like Kuroko is something from a higher plane of existence, ephemeral and surreal, and if Kagami but blinks, he'll be gone.

* * *

It feels a bit like his own eyes are mocking him whenever Kagami fails to register Kuroko at first glance. He tries to be extra attentive, more than their partnership would warrant, but, somehow, Kuroko always manages to escape regardless.

(Kagami has an awful thought then.

 _What if he_ wants _to escape_?)

* * *

Kagami hopes he won't remember the last time they meet either. Should they split ways one day, he wants it to be a forgettable parting, a day like any other. He'll overlook Kuroko, his own senses betraying him, and then it will be over, and he won't even have to know.

Maybe Kagami is a bit ignorant after all.

* * *

"We all want to have proof that we're walking  
So we turn around and stop to confirm how far we've traveled"  
— "Boku kara kimi e", Galileo Galilei


	8. Serious Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hokage assigns Kagami and Kuroko the mission to snoop out the whereabouts of a missing ninja under the cover of a happily married gay couple of bakers. — KagaKuro, Naruto AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the general lack of updates, I've been working on my bachelor thesis and another huge project, so there has sadly been little time left for fandom.

“You’re kidding, right?”

 

They must be. If not, this had to be some real fucking _cosmic joke_ of a nightmare.

 

Hyūga clasped a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter from spilling out and failed miserably. Aida looked as if she couldn't care less either way.

 

“Surely, you’ve been on an undercover mission before and know how the selection process works,” she said, bored. “We wouldn’t ask you if you weren’t the ones best suited for the job.”

 

Still teetering whether to be flattered or irritated, Kagami turned to Kuroko for some kind of support.

 

“No doubt Kagami-kun will look great in an apron,” he offered, mouth twitching traitorously. That little asshole.

 

Hyūga nearly choked on another flood of hysterical giggles.

 

There were many rules and requirements on the road to become a proper ninja, like stealth or ruthlessness—Kagami could never remember them all—but, anyway, effeminate clothing and _baking_ weren’t part of them. Or at least they weren't supposed to be.

 

The hokage seemed to disagree. So did Alex, apparently.

 

“Can I come, too?” she exclaimed as she burst through the door behind which she had been eavesdropping, voice an octave higher than usual with excitement. “I would _die_ to get my hands on your cherry tarts again!”

 

“Cherries are out of season,” Kagami said before he could stop himself and flushed. “I mean— _focus,_ Alex. This mission is ridiculous.”

 

Alex’ expression sharpened. “No, _you’re_ ridiculous, Taiga. Kuroko and you have been _honored_ with the important task to surveil a reported gathering of missing-nin under the cover of a bakery, _anybody else would_ —“

 

“ _I am not making you cherry tarts_ ,” he cut her off, fed up with this mockery of his person. He was a ninja, a jō-nin for fuck's sake, and not a baker, damn it.

 

“Fine,” she sniffed, flipped her hair and stalked off with an air of utter betrayal.

 

“Your cherry tarts _are_ very good,” Kuroko said meaningfully. Kagami cursed his entire existence.


End file.
